98% of divorces are caused by Mario Party
yes your honor, this marriage can no longer work out after the trauma I suffered from my wife stealing not one, but TWO of my stars
i’m glad we don’t have to hunt for our food any more.. i don’t even know where Sandwiches live
there should be like a strip club only with hot dads in good shoes with their legs propped up on tables sipping coffee and staring at you over the tops of their glasses when you walk in
goddamn i would lose so much money
My dog understands the word “No,” so how are you going to tell me teenage boys don’t know the difference between rape and consent?
Kitten Apologizes for Obscene Outburst
A kitten named Mitzy issued a public apology on Wednesday after a video of her expletive-laden outburst went viral on YouTube.
“Mitzy deeply regrets her public meltdown, and offers a sincere apology to the families — especially the children — whom she offended,” says Conrad Stilhoffer, the kitten’s publicist. “She wants you to know that she was just having a bad day. And while that does not excuse the behavior, she hopes you’ll understand.”
At the time of writing, the video has been viewed 14 million times, and will likely be a black mark on Mitzy’s reputation for some time.
“We hope that when you think of Mitzy, you don’t think of this unruly behavior, but of her other accomplishments, like bringing you that dead field mouse or not puking in your shoes,” said Stilhoffer. It’s unclear what — if any — ramifications this might have on her future professional prospects.
Skater girls seen in Vanak Square in Tehran, Iran. [photo cred: Nooshafarin, Humans of Tehran]